Christmas, ah…nothing quite like it. Yultide carols echo through the air, reverberating throughout the city to the point of annoyance, but still you cant hate it. It’s after all, Christmas.

How would you spend it? With family of course, piled into a caravan of cars headed for church, where they enjoy the children’s Christmas pagent, celebrate mass together then return home for eggnog and merrymaking. Familiar faces gathered round the table, feasting on turkey, ham and log cake. Well at least a normal family would.

How does mine do it? Well about as unconventional as anyone else. After decending on about 4 different churches from 3 different denominations we all converged in grandmas cozy 5 room flat at dover, the nerve-centre for all activities Khoo related in the world, for dinner. Yes all 20+ members of my dysfunctional but highly loveable family attempting to squeeze comfortably into her flat, but hey we’ve been doing it for years.

On the dinner menu…Babi Ponteh (Stewed Pork in an awesome ginger and garlic gravy like only grandpa can make) Steamed King Prawns, Thai Fish Cakes, Chicken Curry, Flower Crab Meatballs and lots of hot soup, all lovingly prepared in the kitchen that’s fed our family for the past 30 add years.

I mean come on…what says Christmas better than grandma’s piping hot chicken curry eh?

Does hearty conversation among family members fueled by rum, whisky or other forms of hard liquer ensue around the table after the scrumptious meal? No…not at the Khoo’s Christmas party. That would be an insult to tradition for nothing could ever replace…

Mahjong

Ah yes, good old mahjong, is there anything more Christmassy then a game where the 3 oldest cousins in the family sit bare-bodied at the same table with a revered mahjong queen like Po-Po-Vera, small in stature but great in skill she’s beat the pants off us year in year out? Not in my books no. So off we go, stakes are small and we’ve each got a notoriously dangerous mahjong playing family member behind each of us barking out orders and complex money-making strategies that I’d never hope to fathom in just one session. Behind Seth is Jiggs, Ethan has Glenn and I have grandma, no one better than grandma, who seems to have x-ray contact lenses.

And to the delight of the crowd after 2 hours of play I somehow emerge the winner, $10 richer and hero for the night.

Alas, midnight comes and goes, hugs kisses and well wishes later we’re all on grandma’s living room parquet floor for another tradition, the distribution of gifts. A responsibility charged to the cousins of 2 generations to perform we sit back and let Glenn and Alan take care of this 2007 batch.

It never fails to amuse us, Glenn’s incomparable present giving comedic monologue as he circulates the presents round the room is no less than side splitting and a refreshing change of pace from frantic, stress-ridden mahjong.

Soon enough the presents are opened and so is the alcohol. Wine, champagne, whisky and rum, I’d take the latter any day. More Christmas log cake, kisses, hugs and before we know it I’m home.

The clock reads 2.21am

Spread the lovin’

Rob Valentine