Wednesday, May 16, 2007 4:02 PM
well it was better. but not much, to say I'm pissed off is like saying osama's evil, bush is a dickhead and that angela's a bitch. so yeah, you get the drift.
so off i went out in group 1 (for those who don't golf that means you're one of the 2 worst scores from day 1) and yes i played with a fucking stoning twat who couldn't see 2 feet in front of him and yet attempts to pursure playing a game like golf. go figure.
so off i went at 7. i go to the range and they havent even set up our range balls yet. so i cant warm up. knock a couple of balls aroud on the green and that's it. off i go.
i miss it...note the use of the word MISS it around the front side for a very respectable -1 (35) so i'm like "well i got the hard part done, now i just gotta find a couple of birdies on the back nine, post a score in the red, get the 83 out of my (and everyone else's minds) and it'll be happy days."
yeah right.
snipe hook off 10. and here's the beauty. i decide to chip out of the trees to the fairway so i tell my dumbwit playing partner to watch my ball. i hit it pretty good so it SHOULD be out there.
when i get out of the woods my playing partner's enjoying a nice refreshing look at the fucking pidgeons in the trees. when i ask him if he saw my ball he just shrugs it off and goes "nope sorry."
fucking cunt.
so that started my downward slide. eventually couldnt find my ball and wound up taking triple. dropped a shot at 12 before missing a short 4 footer for par on 15. i bomb 3 wood down 16 so i've only got 176 into a par 5, so i'm like yeah...we can still get this one together.
in your dreams.
airmailed it over the back into a tree, chipped it on then 3 stabbed it for a bogey. flushed a wedge on the next over the back. absolutely dead spot. chipped it on to 20 feet then three putted again.
at this moment in time, the screws came off, my head blew off and i was seeing RED.
flung my putter 30 yards off the green and repeatedly told myself that i was an absolute fucking dickhead and that i couldn't hole a put if my life depended on it. i was tilting, and tilting bad.
wrapped up my splendid outing with a sloppy bogey at 18 before signing off for a 78 (+8). one under on the front, 9 over on the back.
somebody please shoot me.
i have no idea what the fuck to do about my golf game. its a wreck. i'm embarrased beyond your wioldest dreams and i've still got 2 rounds to go.
God spare my soul.
spread the lovin'
Rob Valentine