yet another rollercoaster day for the brother of love.

wobbled out of bed at 730 to get down to doing my exercise principals homework. as improbable as it sounds i finished it and am bloody proud of it thank you very much.

class this morning was its usal concoction of retro songs, incerdibly hard to pronounce names and the usual crude but always entertaining Gobinathan toilet humor. perfect to chase away those mornin blues.

hunger pangs hit me at around noon and i bugged sunshine to head out for lunch. haha. finally my dear best friend has to put braces. i can now have the sick, twisted pleasure of watching him masticate (biological term for chewing...get your mind out of the gutter people) in a great amount of pain for the coming month or so. after all he got a little sampler after putting in his seperators last night. hehehe

so off we went to causeway to brave the culinary creations of cornel sanders. after a most enjoyable meal (wish i could say the same for josh who was clearly in pain) joanne came along and I then proceeded to splurge on them on gelare's half priced waffle day

our macho man joshua settled for a nice soft scoop of cappucino ice cream. sissy

next thing i knew i was on a train speeding downtown. donning my oakleys and drowned in the original broadway cast recordings of RENT and Hairspray i was shocked to find myself in the company of one of the 7 loudest women in singapore. a list my grandmother has managed to reamain on for the past 29 years, one more year and she'll recieve the Golden Loudhailer Award - recognizing her as one of the prime factors for modern day noise pollution. congratulations gramps

anyway, back to my story. she's plopped her daughter down on the chair next to me and proceedes to teach her math...yes math...the same accursed subject you swore you'd leave behind once your academic life was through...THAT MATH...

"OK Girl...whats 20-0?" girl stares blankly as if to say "do i give a rats ass...now gimme back my candy"..."huh? so simple also dont know...geelo la! twenty mines geelo is geelo"

i try hard to contain my laugher and crank my volume to maximum. risking brain and ear damage all for the sake of my dignity. but alas her larynx was equal to the task and i could STILL hear her...

"How can you not know that 12 minus 6 is 8"

i cleverly disguise my ill-timed laugher as a bad throat cough. thank God somerset was next. i pulled over at the side of the street after i jumped off the train and laughed till my eyes went red.

then walking into mahogany looking like a vampire i was greeted by the normal questions.

"why is your skin so dry"
"you still using sunblock"
"where you travelling next"
"how you get so dark"

etc

started off with the usual waxing of my moustache hair. process is simple,

lay victim down on nice comfy table with blanket,
massage face with a little moisturiser,
place eyepads on eyes,
then ladle on a healthy dollup of rather hot hellbroth onto desired waxing area,
proceed to place waxing strips over wax and massage gently giving impression that it wont hurt as much as you...
HOLY LEAPING SALAMANDERS OF FLAME!
repeat several times until all hair has been removed/patient passes out

vanity has its price.

apart from that only the usual picking and chiseling of the abundant supply of blackheads off my face with a tool that somehow didnt make it past the final test for mountian climbing equipment.

the mud mask that makes me look like freddy crouger

and lots more massaging with oils and creams and stuff.

total time 2 hours.

drove down to immigartion only to discover that we were 5 mins too late to extend my passport. brilliant as usual.

wheelock was next on the list, pick up lenses. then to forum to get chiropracted by igor. apparently i'm straighter :)

warren for dinner then down to change into my dancing duds. which by the way make me look and feel like john travolta from greasey saturday night fever (insert laugh track) so the next hour was spent rockin' and rolling and spinning and twisting and jiving to the sounds of rock and roll of the 60s. my weekly dose of endorphines.

and its not just the dancing. its watching the older couples looking less stable than a phone pole in a typhoon. threatening at any moment to fling their partners into the mirror. comic.

mom sends me back to my lonely den afterwards.

its just me. all alone. in this massive building. well there IS linling but she's a girl and its kinda freaky here...

currently i'm engaging in multiple activities in an attempt to divert my attention until exhaustion overwhelms me and i plunge into peaceful slumber.

well at least thats the plan

God Bless

spread the lovin'

Rob Valentine